engagements..and other of life's milestones

recently, okay, 4 days ago, one of my closest friends, nevermind that shes a "work friend"- shes out of that grouping already based on how amazing she has been.. is.. and will be (i hope) got engaged. it was the perfect proposal because it went, not as planned (at a restaurant or worse somewhere else public) but at her house, at a random moment, just the two of them. my friend is 25.. will be 26 in a few months, and just days before, literally, a day or two before, we were joking about when she would get proposed to... it was a ludicrous thought.. laughable really.. we kept giving her two years.. when low and behold, i got a text asking me if i was sitting down and i just knew.

i truly, truly, surprised myself, and it surprises me even more when i surprise myself, because if anyone knows me, its me, and i dont surprise myself, im the most predictable person, to myself.. hence me being surprised. at myself. the reason i was so surprised with myself was that i was genuinely-verge-of-tears-happy for her.

i am now in the midst of pouring over every detail, working even less than i originally was. WE originally were. this is a wedding planning partnership. nevermind that her sister owns her own PR agency and will take care of mostly everything, but we are a wedding planning force to be reconned with..

this leads me to ponder, either from my own curiosity or from someone else asking me.. if im now bitten by the engagement bug.

for starters, a few months ago another coworker/friend was proposed to... and weeks later.. this newly engaged friend of mine caught the bug. not fully blown obsessive pressuring her man to propose 5 times a day sick to her stomach bug.. but a light.. nagging little cough of a bug.. that brought on the what ifs.. whens.. hows.. wheres.

this leads me to resort to a few defense mechanisms.

1- push the though from my mind, lest it bring an engagement upon me.

2- the im-happy-where-i-am-living-in-sin deflect.

3- it'll be years before we can purchase property, let alone the ring of my dreams.

4- i really, am not that worried marriage any time soon.. i see why its important, and more importantly i see why its not.

5- i am.... not that old yet.. not in that age bracket (26-29) where proposals as prevalent as glowsticks at a rave... however... this leads me to the purpose of this entry..

im not young enough anymore where it would be shocking to be engaged.. i think maybe shocking to have kids.. yes. anytime before 25 is much too soon.. anytime before 27 is nuts.. and anytime before 30 is iffy at best.

its just knowing that im not in a taboo age that sort of freaks me out. ofcourse id still get the omg-shes-engaged-is-she-preggers? but i wouldnt get the GASP! what will her parents think are they okay with it?! bracket.

and just like that, life sneaks up on you, and you realize.. shit, im not this douche bag college kid anymore.. and although i have only the responsibility that comes with living on my own (so.. i need money for bills.. and food... and i need to remember to make sure to feed and take my dog out a few times a day) and although im not quite grown up yet.. i COULD be. if i tried. if i had to be. scary!